Dear Fifteen Year Old Me,
It’s been 11 years since I’ve seen you. If we were to meet
face to face, eyes to eyes, would you recognize me? Would you know it was you
by the hurt buried deep inside me?
There are so many things I want to say to you. Fears I want
to stamp out, and confidence I want to instill in you. Advice I want to plant
inside of you, to grow from a seed into a tree more solid than any foundation
you could create on your own. Holding you up and keeping you ever moving
towards the sky.
Anyone you are putting your efforts and time into, stop. The
man you’ve been seeing will continue to bring you heartache and more pain than
you should have to bear. Heartache is what’s going to shape you into the person
you become, me. He will feed you lies until the only thing you can feel is the
cold numbing sensation as if your limbs were always asleep, trying to wake up
from a dream. You will save yourself hours of crying, and feeling worthless if
you end things now, before they get to toxic. While you are at it, pick up that
phone and call the authorities.
Don’t worry about those that can’t muster up a kind word
toward you, or make you feel inferior. It’s just High School, and that’s how
others feeling the same way you do act out. In 10 years, oh wait, 5 years most
of them will have gained 50lbs and had 3 children.
You are beautiful. Look inward for the strength you need to
get through the obstacles that will come toward you in this life. Realize your
self worth before you knock your self-esteem so low you’ll look for attention
in those that aren’t worth yours.
Snatch up the opportunity for every adventure that lays
itself at your feet, but do not sell yourself short. For oh what adventures you
will have! Look at every turn as a chance to explore, learn, and grow into who
you are and who you will become.
Never stop being strong, independent, and fearless. There
are people in this world that will try to take that away from you. With their
words, their actions, they’ll try to strip all that makes you stand tall, and
stand out away. Don’t put away those fishnets for anyone.
Paint, draw and sketch until your fingers bleed. Don’t be
afraid of mistakes, or what others will say. You have a creative storm inside
you, don’t you dare try to calm it when the waters get rough.
Read your heart out. And when your heart is out, swallow it
and read some more.
I know it’s hard. Every day you feel the hole inside your
chest growing, and you can’t find answers to who you are or what you want to do
with what’s ahead of you. You may never lose that unsure feeling, but love
yourself and trust in what you know to be real.
When no one else will give you the support you need,
remember this seed inside of you, grow towards the sky. Ever upwards.
Much love,
Your 26 year old self
No comments:
Post a Comment